


Not Yet

by Darling_Dixon08, Supernatural_Carisi08 (Darling_Dixon08)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 16:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20567444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Dixon08/pseuds/Darling_Dixon08, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darling_Dixon08/pseuds/Supernatural_Carisi08
Summary: Sonny doesn’t make it home on time for the surprise.





	Not Yet

I wait impatiently for Sonny to come back home from work. He usually calls or texts if he ends up having to stay late but there is the occasional case he gets wrapped up in when he forgets to let me know. Usually I'm patient but I have a big surprise for Sonny tonight! As the second hour goes by I try his cell phone. He doesn't answer so I try his work number. Still nothing. I call his partner Amanda's cell but she doesn't answer either. I tell myself they're off on a job and force myself to keep busy on my phone. About 20 or so minutes later there's a knock on our door. Whenever Sonny is late without calling he always brings me flowers and knocks on the door and says "I'm sorry I kept you waiting doll, could you ever forgive me?" I bounce out of the chair I'm in and happily glide towards the door "you're gonna need more than flow-" but I stop when I see his boss Olivia standing at the door "What is it? Where is he?" I spit out. I feel the color drain out of my face and my body lose all heat.

If Olivia was knocking on my door, then it couldn't be good. I grip onto the door as she starts to speak "He was involved in a high speed chase. He's in the hospital." The frown lines on her face are telling me there's more then what she is saying.

I demand and beg at the same time "tell me!" The tears already falling and my body shaking.

"It doesn't look good, he's in surgery now." She says, being careful how she handled telling me "I can drive you there." She calls after me as I rush past her. I accept her offer and she speeds to get me to Mercy General.

Once inside, I get to the front desk and start rambling off "I need to see my husband. Dominick Carisi. Here's here. Where is he? What room? Dominick Carisi. Hello?"

"Y/N. We're over here." One of Sonny's coworkers, Finn, touches me lightly on the shoulder to get my attention "we have no news yet."

My eyes are wide and my mind goes black. I let him guide me to where their entire unit is waiting and he helps guide me into a seat. He returns with a cup of water and I slowly drink it, my brain starting to function again. I feel myself blink once, twice, three times. I then start to look around and get familiar with everyone around. My eyes fall to Amanda, whose head is bandaged from a cut and arm wrapped up "what happened?" I ask her, figuring she was also in the crash if this how she looks.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. The guy had an accomplice. I didn't see him there. He drove right into us." She tries to say.

"There's no way you could've known. It's not your fault." Finn assures her.

I nod, not really caring either way about that right now. I ask "what happened?" I need more details then that.

Olivia chimes in now "the car rammed them and hit full force into Sonny's side. He was wearing his seatbelt but he was injured pretty bad."

"He wasn't awake when I came to." Amanda adds on.

"How long ago did this happen?" I ask, flipping my head to look at Olivia. If Amanda is aloud to wait here with her unit then she must've been cleared by the doctors. That takes at least a few hours.

Olivia answers for them all "around 4 hours ago. I'm sorry we couldn't contact you sooner. We didn't know the severity of his condition until right before I got to you. We also had to get the perp.

"Four ho-" my voice drags off. I shake my head and start to speak out "no, this can't be happening. Not tonight. No. He's fine. I know it, he's okay."

Amanda puts her hand on my knee "he'll be okay."

I nod at her, the tears starting to fall again. The adrenaline was keeping me functioning but now that all I have to do is wait, I can feel them forming faster and faster and the sobs start to come out. In what feels like days but is only another 2 hours or so, a doctor comes out and asks for Sonny's next of kin "I'm his wife" I stand up, not even sure I can get the strength to walk forward. Kin? Why would he say that? Sonny would've asked him to get his wife. My heart basically stops beating. Olivia wraps her arm around me for support and helps me walk closer to the doctor. I grab a hold of her hand and squeeze it tightly, I need someone with me, I need someone stable.

The doctor says "he has a lot of lacerations and lost a lot of blood. We believe we got them all. We've actually been out of surgery for over an hour now but-"

"Over an hour? Why didn't you come tell us?" Olivia asks harshly.

The doctor goes on "because his vitals are as stable as we could hope in his condition but he's not waking up."

"Do you have him sedated?" I ask, not sure what he's saying to us.

The doctor shakes his head "We have medication ready for if he wakes up but right now he's only on what he needs to help healing. He should be awake."

Olivia asks "is there brain activity?"

I somehow manage to squeeze her hand harder but she doesn't budge. I know what that means if he says no. He says "yes" but goes on before I could exhale "but it's low, like what we see in sleeping patients."

"Well, what tests are you doing?" Olivia questions.

I spit out before the doctor can answer "can I see him?" The sound of desperation apparent in my voice.

He looks at Olivia then back to me and says "yes, I can take just you in."

Olivia removes her hand from mine and puts it on my shoulder "we'll be right here when you come out."

I nod, wipe whatever tears where on my face and follow the doctor down a few hallways. He takes me to the ICU and stops at his door "so you know, he has a lot of cuts and bruises. He will not look like himself." I nod, swallow hard and he moves aside for me to go in "I'll be back in half an hour."

As I walk into the darkly lit room I can already see how different he already looks. His left eye is bruised purple and his jaw is swollen. He has a bandage on his nose and some stitches in his cheek and forehead. "Ohhh, baby." I whisper as I get closer, my pace slow the entire time as I soak it in. "Ohhh, Sonny." I whisper, the tears falling faster as I take it in. I get to the side of his bed and see his hand. It's not bandaged and looks like it's pretty okay to touch so I grab onto it with my hand "hey baby, it's me." I say a bit louder. Nothing. He doesn't move. I wipe the tears that are blocking me from seeing straight and grab a chair. I slide it across the floor loudly, hoping the noise will wake him up but he still doesn't move. I grab his hand again with both of mine and just talk to him "you were in an accident but you're at the hospital now and they're taking good care of you." I just try and have a normal talk with him, and wait for my words to wake him up. Another 10 minutes of me talking to him and the tears start to roll faster down my face again and my sobs start to get more uncontrollable "I need you to wake up Dominick" I use his given name, knowing how much he hates when I do. I continue "you missed dinner and I have something for you, wake up." I push more, unable to stop my voice from rising "please don't do this. Open your eyes baby. Please. Oh god, please." I squeeze and jiggle his hand. The door to the room opens but I ignore it, still insisting my husband wake up "Sonny, come on. It's me, open your eyes baby. Please." The doctor tries to pull me away but I keep myself latched to his side "come on, wake up. Sonny, please." At some point they had to get Olivia and Finn to get me out of the room. When I've calmed down enough, the doctor comes back and explains to me everything that happened and what his and our next steps are.

A little over three months go by and Sonny is still in a coma. I've learned everything I could about comas, vegetative states, and recovery. I go every day to the hospital after work to talk to him and help him so he isn't uncomfortable. The nurses do it too of course, but extra help would only help him. One particular evening when I'm there, Olivia and Amanda come to visit as well. As I sit in the same spot next to his bed with my hand in his as I talk with his two co-workers about what's been going on. As we talk, I feel a light squeeze on my hand. My head spins over to look at Sonny but his eyes are still closed. "What? Did something happen?" Amanda asks lowly.

"I don't know" I say hesitantly, not wanting to get over excited. There was a lot of times the first few weeks I thought I felt him move but it turned out to be my imagination or a natural body movement. But this felt different.

Olivia asks "might've been nothing."

But then it happens again and I know it was him "get the doctor!" I demand as I stand up, keeping my hand in his and looking over him "hi baby, hi. Its me it's Y/N. Can you hear me?" I wait for his hand to squeeze just a little but he doesn't do anything. "Sonny, hi. Your're okay, we're in a hospital." But nothing more.

The doctor comes in calmly with a nurse and says "you said you felt something, huh?" He starts to look at his chart and the nurse moves me aside to look at him.

I assure him "yes, yes I did."

He hums "hmmm, could've been a number of things. Remember that. Let me see here." He grabs his chart and after a few moments of looking at it he hums it again "hmmmm, interesting."

"What is it?" Amanda asks from the back of the room.

The doctor takes a pen out of his pocket and lifts the bed sheet up "let me see something" he then rubs the pen down his foot and watches something on the screen "there's something." He stands next to the nurse "Dominick, this is Dr. Hartman. Can you hear me?" He asks, putting his hand where mine was to see if he squeezes. "If you can hear me can you blink or squeeze my hand?" He looks at the machines again but gets nothing. He shakes his head and looks over to me "I don't think any of -" but he stops and looks back to Sonny "hmm"

"What?" I try not to yell.

I moves his hand away "I think he's responsive."

"He's awake?" Amanda asks.

I know how rare it would be for him to just wake up and be okay so I know that's not what he means. He explains to us all "he's responsive to stimuli. He is quiet possibly moving out of a coma and into a minimally responsive state."

"And that's better, right?" She asks.

"Yes, it means he's getting better." I try and get closer to Sonny.

The doctor calms me down "I'm going to have to run some tests, take some blood work. It seems he wants to respond but I can imagine how much effort it must be taking him to let us know he's there. It may take a few days or so before we can ask him to do enough to know for sure." He tells us.

"Of course. Whatever you think." I nod my head up and down quickly, looking at Olivia and Amanda. 

They nod as well and Olivia excuses them out of the room. The doctor tells me I can have another 15 minutes as he gets the nurses to prep what he needs but then he wants me to come back tomorrow.

Three weeks later, the doctor wants to try some further testing. He's been responding more with squeezes of his hand tonight and the doctor thinks he's ready. I sit in the chair, Olivia behind me and the doctor and a nurse on the other side of his bed. They hooked up some additional machines for additional readings and the doctor nods to tell us he is going to begin. "Okay, Dominick. I know my hands probably aren't as soft as your wives but I need you to squeeze once for yes, twice for no. Do you understand." We all stare at the doctor and his lips form into a small smirk and he nods once. Sonny squeezed once "good, now. Do you know where you are?" A few moments go by and another head nod. "Do you remember what happened?" And moments later two squeezes. He asks "is your name Dominick?" And eventually two nods. The doctors face forms into a sort of frown, and I know he's thinking maybe these squeezes are involuntary and not him actually answering.

I quickly spit out "is your name Sonny?"

The doctor goes to say something to me but stops and looks at Sonny's hand. "One squeeze, yes."

He looks at me with a strange glare and I say "he hates to be called Dominick."

"Alright then. Sonny, can you open your eyes?" We wait the few moments but no response from the doctor, meaning nothing from Sonny. "Sonny, can you squeeze my hand?" And still nothing. "One more try. Dominick can you squeeze my hand?" But nothing. He takes his hand out from his and says "that's good for today."

"y/n, why don't you tell him, maybe he'll respond to the news." Olivia whispers in my ear.

I shake my head and whisper back "no, I need him all here for that. Soon." I assure her.

She says back "you don't have much longer to wait."

I look down at my 7 month pregnant belly and know she's right. I had no idea I was pregnant until 10 weeks in. After I learned I was, I decided to wait till my 12 week before I told Sonny. He gets over excited about everything and I knew he would put that over everything else, including his job. Also, we've had two miscarriages before and both times I had to break the news of the loss to him. It was unbearable. I was surprising him the night that he was in an accident. I had bought a little baby shirt that said "my daddies a cop" on the front and on the back I put his squads unit number on it. I couldn't bring myself to tell him when he was in a coma. He wouldn't hear it, or worse he would and wouldn't be able to answer or experience it. And now he's more aware. But I still don't know how aware. She nods, letting me do what I want and the doctor says he'll be back to go over the charts. While at work two days later, I get a call from from Amanda "hey" I say as I answer. If Sonny wasn't in a coma her name on the screen would worry me. But her and the other detectives in his unit have been so caring and helpful through this entire thing, calling me often to check in on me, the pregnancy and Sonny.

"I was leaving Mercy after interviewing a victim and heard the hospital call over the intercom for a doctor to go to Sonny's room. They won't tell me what's going on.

"What?" I spit, getting out of my chair as quickly as I could and rushing over to leave.

"Oh, hold on." She says and I wait impatiently for her to get back on the phone with me. "Oh, it was nothing. They said one of the tubes came out and activated an alarm."

"What? A tube came out?" I question, just getting off the elevator from work.

She says "yea, they wouldn't tell me what was wrong but when I told them I was calling his next of kin they quickly changed their tune. Sorry if I freaked you out, everything's fine."

"I'm coming anyway, thanks for letting me know." I say to her and hang up before she can tell me not to come. I get to the hospital 20 minutes later. The nurse heading the front tries to stand and tell me it's not visiting hours and that I can't go back there but I quickly growl out to her "I'm 7 months pregnant and the dad is in a coma! Back off!" She slowly sits back in the chair and I make my way to Sonny's room. When I get in there, it's like nothing has changed. Except for the bouquet of flowers by the side of his bed. Right after the accident a lot of people were sending them but it has died down a lot since then. Usually he gets them once every two weeks from his parents. I sit next to the bed, put my hand in his and sigh "oh, god. I thought something was really wrong. I was freaking out. But you're okay." I rub my other hand over his, speaking more to myself then to him. "Okay, lets see who sent these." I grab the card from the flowers and read it "I'm sorry I kept you waiting doll, could -" but I don't even finish reading it as I look back up to see Sonny's eyes for the first time in months. "Sonny!" I basically scream, lowering my head to his hand then looking back at him "you're awake, really awake?" I babble out through the tears "when?"

He barely whispers "early this morning."

"Why didn't anyone call me?" I question, still too thrilled seeing him awake to get up and yell at the doctor. He breathes to try and say something but I tell him to stop "don't, save your energy baby. It's fine, you're awake. I'm so happy."

But he exhales out "I had to get you flowers. I was late. Do you forgive me?" His chest falls up and down in shallow takes, clearly winded with all the talking.

I can tell how exhausting this is for him, his eyes barely staying open further. Even with the light off, it's a lot of stimulation to take in all at once. I assure him "of course I do." And lean down to kiss his hand "rest, I'll be right here when you wake up." His mouth forms into a small smile and soon his breath falls up and down in a consistent rate. I find Dr. Hartman and he tells me about all the progress over the last 24 hours. He says it's quiet remarkable how quickly his speech came back so he's hopeful about everything else. He informs me that not calling me right away was Sonny's idea as he needed to get a few things. I tell him it's okay and excuse myself to get back to his room.

On the way I call Amanda and give her a piece of my mind "you know how he is, he's stubborn. Even when he's just out of a coma he's stubborn." I chuckle at her response and she says "how did he react to finding out about the baby?"

"I didn't tell him yet. He was tired after everything. I'm going to tell him next time he's awake." I explain to her.

"He's going to be ecstatic. Call me later?" She asks.

I invite her by instead "why don't you all come by after work tonight. I think it'd be great for him to see everybody."

"We'll be there!" She promises and hangs up.

When I go back to the room, I take my spot in the chair and place his hand on my stomach. I lay with my head back, a smile on my face and let myself drift off for what feels like the first time since he's been in here. "What? What's that?" Sonny's soft voice wakes me up.

I lift my head up and look down at Sonny's hand still on my stomach and I feel our baby kicking. Now I can tell him "that is your baby, daddy Carisi." I whisper to him, feeling him or her kick again.

"What?" He asks again. His hand pushes a bit harder to my stomach, to feel more.

"Surprise" I say "I was going to tell you the night of your accident. We're due next month." He moves his hand and I can tell he's trying to sit up. I sit up and say "no, no don't. Rest, everything's okay."

"I need to see." He mutters back, still trying to move his body. 

"Stop, I'll help. Please." I beg. He lowers his arms, unable to get himself up in the bed and I see a tear rolling down his cheek "I need to see you."

"Let me get some pillows, hold on." I say. I move out of the room as fast as I can and grab a few extra pillows off a cart in the hallway.

As I start with getting one more pillow behind him the doctor comes in "wow, wow. What are we doing? He needs to rest."

"I told him that." I tell him, stopping from adding more pillows behind his head.

Sonny says to him, his eyes still shut "I need to see. Dr. Hartman, I need to. I won't stop trying until I do."

Dr. Hartman responds "alright, sure. We can get you in a bed that sits up. But it'll take a few hours before we can move you to it."

"Okay, but I need to see her now. You can either leave and I'll try on my own or help me." He explains in a horse whisper.

I give the doctor a one shoulder shrug and say "he's stubborn."

"I can tell." He sighs then moves to get closer to the bed "Alright, I'll help lift you up but just for a moment. Okay?"

"Thank you." He smiles and moves his elbows slightly.

The Dr. moves to lift him on the count of 3 and once Sonny is sitting up he opens his beautiful blue eyes. The tears return to his face and he flushes red "you're gorgeous, wow. Come here?" He asks me to come closer. The Dr. lowers him down as I walk over to him and he puts his hand back on my stomach. the Dr. leaves without another word and I stand over Sonny so we can see each other. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. Shh." I use my other hand to wipe a tear that falls down near his lip.

He kisses my finger and says "I'll never be late again. For either of you. I promise."

"I know. I love you" I tell him.

"I love you, too. Forever." He says and I lean down to kiss him gently on the lips.


End file.
